Ab Absurdum

Search

2012-01-22T00:48:00.002-06:00

Search.

In the stillness of life, I search for movement,

In the pell-mell of life I search for silence.

In the burning deserts of life I search for shade,

In the comforting shades of life I search for challenges.

In the mighty planes of life I search for corners,

In the tiny corners of life I search for vastness.

In the shallow waters of life I search for knowledge,

In the deep oceans of life I search for ignorance.

In the unknown crowds of life I search for an identity,

In the known valleys of life I search for anonymity.

In the harsh reality of life I search for an illusion,

In the deceptive illusion of life I search for the truth.

In the disorderly array of life I search for perfection,

In this quest for perfection, I discover life.

Mumbai.

2011-09-28T19:52:00.001-05:00

I am Mumbai. On the shores of Arabian sea, looking westward to the holy land of Mecca. Everyday thousands throng into my heart, all with dreams. Some big. Some small. But dreams nonetheless. I am not a city. I am an illusion. An illusion with bright lights and darker shadows. An illusion made of unreal stories and broken dreams. An illusion that is broken with every heartbeat and reinforced with every breath. As far as the eye can see, I see people of all colors and features. They all call me their own. I am not defined by a language or a religion. I am defined by a spirit that can not be defined.

I sing the tunes of the films that are made here. I wear the sweat of the mill workers who worked here. I taste the hard work of dabbawallas who bring food to millions here. I believe in the faith of Mount Mary, Siddhivinayak and Haji Ali. I dance to the music of dandiya and the dhol of Durga Puja. I wake up to the holy sounds of Azaans in Bombay Central and sleep to the quiet murmurs of the distant waterfalls in the ghats. I live vicariously through the youth of Fashion street and Colaba causeway. I relive my past with the sounds of Bhindi Bazaar and the songs of the kolis. I smile at undying spirit of the kids who grow up on my streets. I am saddened by the unending pursuit of money at Dalal Street.

Yes, I am an illusion. An illusion one can touch and feel and see. I am an illusion made up of millions of dreams. I am an illusion people live in and call their own. I... am Mumbai.

Good bye 20s....I will miss you soon....

2011-07-22T02:52:00.000-05:00

The first feeling of freedom in one's life comes when one starts going to college....at least it did for me. The feeling of being able to travel on your own to a world of its own possibilities, to a world of new friends and a canvas of unlimited dreams is truly the feeling of freedom.

Its interesting, whenever I rewind my life to the most happiest and most carefree days of my life, I think of my college days. The feeling of the moist cool sea breeze across our faces as we crossed the creek on our local trains to get to college, the overrated jokes from F.R.I.E.N.D.S giving us a sense of uber coolness, the innumerable teenage crushes on cricketers and others.....all gave us a sense of freedom, we had never experienced.

While college life brought its own challenges and heartbreaks, it made of us aware of a world beyond our high schools and homes. It brought us face to face with so many different facets of our own society that we were never aware of.

College life brought friends, hopes and dreams into our lives. It told us what we were capable of. It was a place where inexperienced visions of life melted away to give way to a more mature understanding of life.

It was a time of countless hours spent sipping coffee and having some what serious discussions about life and sundry. It was a time of exploring our own city with new eyes. It was a time of sneaking away from college to watch movies and cricket. It was a time of using our student ids to get into air conditioned art galleries for free to beat the heat. It was time to go a particular Goan restaurant for a cheap plate of prawn fried rice. It was a time of carefully counting our pocket money and buying trinkets off the street. It was a time, when the sky seemed bluer and the world looked like a glass half full.

As I stand on the threshold of my fourth decade in the world, I suspect, I will soon look back into my 20s, as a period of growing maturity and subtle mannerism . I will look back at my 20s as enjoying my freedom with a growing sense of responsibilities. I will look back at my 20s as a time when the F.R.I.E.N.D.S didn't make you laugh as hard and cups of coffees are gulped down with a great sense of urgency.

So good bye 20s, I will miss you soon...

Mind your volume please!

2011-04-09T15:53:00.000-05:00

All right! What is with people speaking loudly on their phones?? No, I don’t get it…I simply don’t. Is it a desperate need to get attention or is that people simply don’t realize that they are loud?

I have often wondered why people tend to be so loud on the phone. I remember when we were younger; it used to be a great thrill to get phone calls from my uncle who lived abroad. Considering the phone connections used to be very bad those days, it was but natural that my grandparents had to raise their voices to make sure that their son heard them well. But twenty years later, I refuse to accept that technology can be blamed for people speaking loudly on their phones. Things have got so bad nowadays that when a phone rings in my vicinity, I fear that I will become a part of somebody’s intimate discussions without wanting to be part of it.

I distinctly remember my hostel days, when we used to get calls from our parents only once in a while, and we used to be particularly happy when we got one. So there I had an excited friend who received a call from her mother after a long time. It was natural that she spoke to her for a long time asking her about her health, the weather there and what was for dinner that night. The reason that I knew what the conversation was like is not because she told me about it, but simply because I heard her while she was on the phone. I guess its always a little difficult to have private conversations in a hostel, but the I swear I was not trying to invade her privacy….I was on the second floor watching television, while she was two floors below in the common area!!!

I have always tried to keep it low when I am on phone, fearing that I might disturb others around me. But it upsets me a lot when I don’t get the same degree of concern from others. Adam Smith in his “Theory of Moral Sentiments” said that “ we put ourselves in the position of a vicarious spectator and tune our behaviour to the pitch that we know from our experience will seem appropriate to others.” Forget tuning once behaviour, people are not even ready to tune their pitches for other people. Why is it that people have absolutely no respect for others? This sort of behaviour irks me the most when I am in the library trying to study (yes, a very rare activity, but not an extinct one!). So instead of trying to figure out as to how New Keynesian economics is different from new classical, I am forced to listen to the work schedule of the girl sitting on the next table or the guest list to one’s thanksgiving dinner.

Ok, lets assume that people are not concerned about other people, therefore they don’t have any problems being loud on the phone. But don’t they have respect for their own privacy at least??? I mean I have no particular interest in knowing how one’s date last night ended or did not end. I have no desire to know the recipe for pumpkin pie or by how much the stock prices of Microsoft has gone up. So, here I am peacefully reading a book in the confines of my own house, when I suddenly hear my neighbour across the lane talking on the phone to his parents and asking them for some more money. By the end of the phone call, I had a complete knowledge of the boy’s financial situation and that he was going to receive an additional five hundred dollars that month! Hmmm….maybe its time to make a new friend! ;)

The silent sound of snow..

2011-02-15T18:34:00.005-06:00

The sky turns red, giving an illusion of day break. And the snow drops in like a quiet house guest tiptoeing so as to not wake up it's hosts. The white blanket slowly covers all that was around us. With the first rays of sunlight one sees the tiny paw prints of furry friends who you did not know lived in the backyard. The bare branches of trees bow down with the burden of snow on them. A lone bird looks around for food, which safely sleeps under the warm hug of the white snow. The soft snow under your feet gives you the feel of white sands and far away lands with sunshine and warmth. The bitter cold reminds you of how harsh nature can be. At the same time, the peacefulness of the snow reminds you of everything that is right with the world.

A docudrama gone terribly wrong

2011-02-09T14:35:00.002-06:00

This is the first for me. I enjoy watching films, but have never really reviewed a film. However, this film based on the real life shooting of a model named Jesicca Lall in 1999 has somehow prompted me to write a couple of my reactions down. I was looking forward to the film 'No One Killed Jessica'. I was impressed by the promos that I saw on youtube and all the promotional interviews that I came across. After the film released I found many of my friends raving about this film on both Facebook and Twitter. Most of the film critics also praised the movie for both its bold choice of subject and its direction.

I watched the film last night on netflix and was left without a single emotion. I found that there were many problems with the film.

First, most of the characters in this film did not evoke a single emotion out of me. Be it the super bitchy role of Rani Mukerji (or however she spells it now!) based on journalist Barkha Dutt, or Sabrina Lall the younger sister of Jessica Lall who fought for justice for almost a decade, or the various witnesses in the case including the character based on Bina Ramani. The only convincing character was the investigating Police Inspector who was as real as the person sitting next to me. I was touched by the degree of helplessness that was portrayed by a government official who is supposed to be the keeper of law and order in the country.

Second, in his attempt to dramatize a real event, the director was not able to keep the authentic emotions of the characters and neither was he able to give it cinematic touch. It was somewhere between a documentary and thriller, which left me feeling quite cheated. Most of the characters overacted-the main culprit being Rani. Unfortunately she tries to hard to be the uber cool foul mouthed journalist. Vidya was passable. None of the other character actors left an impression on me either.

Third and probably the most important was the lack of portrayal of the case being retried. What happened in the high court? How was the missing evidence brought back? Were the hostile witnesses used for the case again? There were also some obvious mistakes in the film.

All and all, a film which already had such a fantastic story line, a film which could have been used to extend the optimism of the Jesicca Lall murder case and youth activism to other classes and sections of the society has not only disappointed me as a cine goer but also as a member of our society.

The mighty Kangchenjunga

2010-10-28T12:31:00.004-05:00

It was a cold winter day. And we started our drive from Gangtok, Sikkim to Pelling- a four hour drive through winding roads and mountains. The aim of this road trip was to sight the lofty Kangchenjunga-the third highest mountain in the world after Mount everest and K2.

On a clear day, locals told us that one could view Kangchenjunga from Gangtok, but we hadn't been fortunate enough to have seen that. So we headed west, to Pelling, to try our luck. Pelling- a sleepy town in western Sikkim had nothing really to boast about except that it had Kangchenjunga in its backyard! With our fingers crossed we started our journey. On our way to Pelling, we met tourists who were on their way back to Gangtok from Pelling. Most of them told us they hadn't been able to see the mountain ranges. Clouds had enveloped the entire region for almost two weeks. We were ready for disappointment. But we carried on. As our SUV struggled to climb the uphill mountainous roads, we were captivated by the serene beauty of the region. Alpine forests on both sides of the roads, the occasional waterfalls cascading its way down to the valley, the small villages where we stopped for some tea and momos made sure that we wouldn't be completely disappointed even if we didn't get to see the ranges.

We finally reached Pelling. It was a small town with one tiny bus station and a number of small hotels. We checked ourself into one of these many hotels. One of the first thing that I asked the hotel manager was if the weather had been clear in the last few days. He pointed out to what to me looked only like a wall of clouds and told me that all they had been able to see over the last two weeks was these clouds. He also said that if we wanted to see the mountains, we would have a much better chance early in the morning than any other time of the day. However he also said that we shouldn't be too optimistic. My heart sank. I decided that even if I couldn't see the mountain range, I would try to enjoy this wonderful little town and whatever little it had to offer. While I was talking to the manager, I noticed that he was watching the series LOST. I was excited to find yet another LOST fan in this town. Since LOST seasons are not shown at the same time in India as here in the US, I realized that he was still watching season 4 while I had finished watching season 5. I sat along with him and started to tell him all that had happened in season 5. I don't think he appreciated that much and suggested that I might want to walk around and see the town.

Taking his hints I decided to join my parents and we went walking around the town, which was a few stores, a few travel agencies, a state tourism office and a helipad. There were other tourists who were also wandering around like us not having a clue about what can be done in this tiny town. As the day ended and darkness fell on this little town, we didn't have much of an option but to go back to our hotel. After having a decent dinner at the hotel restaurant we went up to our room and curled into our beds with a small heater.

I woke up before my parents did at about 5. I looked out of the window and saw white clouds floating at the horizon. I woke my parents up and waited for the sun to rise. At around 5:30, we saw a pink light on the horizon. We had been told that at times, one can see the snow on the mountains reflect the first rays of sun giving the illusion of pink. We were thrilled. We had caught the first glimpse of Kangchenjunga. We started taking pictures of that faint pink light...happy and content that we saw a little bit of the mountain ranges. But after fifteen minutes or so....the clouds on the horizon started thinning and the sun came up directing its spotlight on the mountain range. And then we saw, the mighty Kangchenjunga standing covered with ice and snow, rising up from the dense clouds around it. It looked like the warmth of the sun had compelled the mountains to shed its blanket of clouds. We could see five peaks of the mountain range with clouds gliding around it, sometimes giving the illusion of slicing the mountain into halves. We stared at the mighty Kangchenjunga for a while, mesmerized by its quiet power and benevolent presence. We did not click any photographs, we did not yell in excitement, we just stared...stared at its white glittering snow, stared at its proud stature, stared at its ancient peaks and stared at its simple beauty. We were hypnotized by its grandness. These mountain ranges are considered holy by the locals. Also, it is one of the most difficult peak to conquer (more than Mt. Everest, I was told by our local guide). Many have died on their way to the peak. And it is this aloofness of the mountains that we could feel when we watched it. It was as if, the mountains stood there to protect everyone from all that is evil, but still remained untouchable to us. The mountains stood like a connect between the mortal world and all that's beyond it. The sun light and the clouds played with each other to sometimes cover the mountain ranges and and sometimes allow it to peek out of the clouds in its entire glory.

Our hotel manager came running to our room, so that he could wake us up. He pointed to the different peaks of the ranges and told us the names of each one of them. He also said that we were indeed lucky since this was the first time after two weeks that they had seen the ranges. Now that I was out of trance, I quickly grabbed my camera and started taking pictures. As we started to get ready for the day, the mountains continued to bask in the warm winter morning sun. We drove around Pelling and we could see the mountains from every corner and every bend. There it stood like the all knowing, all encompassing entity, protecting its people and yet maintaing its distance.

As noon approached the clouds once more won the game with the sun and engulfed the mountains within itself. We couldn't see the ranges, but we felt its presence around us. And now when I looked at the clouds in the horizon, I knew what it held within itself. One of the most magnificent sights in the world, one of the most revered mountains, one of the highest peaks in the world-the mighty Kangchenjunga.

Oh Kolkata!

2010-10-19T19:38:00.002-05:00

Kolkata has never been my city of residence. Though my ration card, my voting card and driver's license all have an address in Kolkata as my permanent address. I have always been a visitor to Kolkata. Towards the begining of my life, we would head towards the city for my summer vacations. My memories of the city are defined by the countless stories that I heard from my grandparents and by the short ferry rides over the Hugli. One of the most exciting moments of my life would be to get off at Howrah station and hail a cab to go to my grandparent's house. I would eagerly watch out of the window and gasp in admiration seeing the Howrah bridge in its full grandeur welcoming visitors into the city.

After I started going to college, I would visit Kolkata more often to see my parents. Visiting Kolkata meant getting pampered by my parents and nice home cooked meals. It would mean having endless conversations with my grandparents and cousins. It would mean visiting relatives and distant cousins and telling people for the one thousandth time what I was doing. It would mean going to closest sweet shop and buying some sandesh and shingara. Spending winters in Kolkata has always been a mystic experience. With the sun setting as early as 5 in the evening, one can see that life in Kolkata in winter after sunset becomes even more exciting. It was as if to compensate for the early departure of day light. And when I say life after sunset, I don't mean night life in its more metropolitan interpretation. No, we are not talking about bars and discos, we are talking about restaurants and shops and road side food stalls, book fairs and dance performances and theater. There is something special about walking down to Rabindra Sarobar metro station on a mild winter night to catch a metro to watch a play at Nandan. There is something magical about walking down the streets of Kolkata on a winter evening with fragrance of rajnigandha and chicken rolls slowly holding onto your light woolens.

No Kolkata has never been my city of residence. But the culture of Kolkata is embedded in my subconscious. It is the city where change and revolution seem to co exist with extreme poverty. It is the city where you will learn more from standing at a tea stall and listening to two random people discuss and debate about politics and world affairs than watching FOX news for hours. It is the city where intellectual honesty and political dishonesty co habitat. It is the city of left wing politics and Durga pujo. It is not the city of dreams or the city of hope, but it is a city of optimism, a city of intellectual progress, a city of heart warming poetry, a city of debates, a city of passion. It is the city where Karl Marx is still taught in economics classes. It is a city where you are defined by the kind of books you read and not by the kind of clothes you wear. It is a city where fish is eaten 7 days a week. It is a city where you will never be forced to learn Bengali, but you will learn it anyways. It is a city where taxis and buses are out to kill you on the road and a city of pedestrians who are ready to kill the bus drivers and taxi drivers who are out to kill you. It is a city where people know a lot about football but get foreigners to come and play for their clubs. It is a city with limited international flights from its airport, but connected to the world through knowledge and ideas. It is not a city of pretension, with bright lights and skylines. It is a city of subtle people with loud voices. It is not a city of glitz and glamour, but a city of quiet splendor.

No Kolkata has never been my city of residence, but it is a part of me. It is like the sea you stand next to, the sea you can feel, the sea you see and the sea you can taste, the sea you love but never actually swim in.

Facebook...a collectivist movement towards individualism?

2010-03-29T23:18:00.017-05:00

So its been over three years that I have been hooked to Facebook (FB from now on). I use it to connect with my old friends and to get to know my new friends better. Being an avid user of FB I know that this social networking site tends to be addictive and I have had my days of logging into FB almost every hour to see what my friends are up to. I also admit that there were days, when I would spend a couple of hours in a day to come up with 'witty' status updates. But like any other fad, FB too has become secondary in my life now. And I can safely say that I can be objective in my views about this social networking site.

On surface it seems like that FB simply helps people connect to long lost friends, people with similar interests etc. But if we dig a little deeper, FB really caters to three most basic needs of man-curiosity, the inherent want to show off and the need for attention.

Let's be honest, out of the 300 odd friends you have on your friend list...how many are you really interested in reconnecting with? More likely than not, you are simply curious to know what they are up to. How have they done in their lives? Are they married? If yes, then are they married to their college sweethearts? If not, then why not...etc? It is in our inherent nature to be curious about people you have known in your life. We are a curious lot and FB has simply made it easier to quench our curiosity.

But more than curiosity really FB gives an instant platform to show off. In fact, I call this, living for FB. What is the first thing people do after coming back from an expensive dinner at a high end restaurant? You start posting the pictures taken in the evening on your FB account. Be it an expensive dinner or a trip to some exotic part of the world, the first thing one tends to do or at least wants to do is sort out the thousands of pictures and upload the ones, in which you look the skinniest and the prettiest! In fact, some don't even have the decency or the patience to sort the pictures out, but instead end up uploading hundreds of pictures on FB.

Lastly, FB indulges our inherent need for attention. And I am as guilty as the person next to me. I have had days, when I left cryptic status updates so as to arouse curiosity of my friends and in turn being the center of attention for a few hours. There are people who make their lives completely public via status updates. So and so is off to Guam or so and so made chicken tikka masala are some examples of status updates, which are screaming for attention. And then you have those, who are not even polite enough to thank people personally for birthday wishes or other such wishes. I find it extremely rude, when someone just thanks everyone for those wishes by updating their status message. Come on, if someone has taken the time to remember your birthday and then made the effort to go to your FB page and wish you, the least the person deserves is a personal thank you on their profile wall. Also, a thank you via a status update is also a way to remind those who did not wish you on your birthday.

From being a reasonably elite social networking site to catering to over 400 million active users, FB has certainly come a long way. Of course, the reason, that FB is as popular as it is is because, people are curious, have an inherent want to show off and the need for attention.

All said, I will be the first to admit that FB has served its purpose as a social networking site. Many pages and groups have been formed, which highlight some social issue. Many protests, marches, news updates have been made via FB. The recent elections in Iran and the subsequent protests found publicity only via FB and similar social networking sites.

FB like any other social institution has made an impact on our lives. But if this institution should be used for promoting individual needs or if it should be used as a platform for a social change is entirely upon us.

Human race towards an evolutionary Cul-de-sac

2009-10-01T18:28:00.019-05:00

The other day, I was reading the news and I came across an article, in which a reputable naturalist said that the Giant pandas should be allowed to die out. One can find his comments here. http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/stories/reputable-naturalist-says-we-should-let-pandas-die-out

According to him, these cute and cuddly animals have not been able to adapt themselves and therefore it makes more sense to simply let them die out.

Of course, I am no naturalist or an expert in this field. But, with my limited knowledge I can safely say that when an animal is endangered due to a loss of habitat, which is a result of human activities, it is difficult for me to fathom as to why the poor animal is being blamed for its own demise. However, the point of my piece is not whether what he said was acceptable or not. According to Packham, 'this species has gone down an evolutionary cul-de-sac'.

What struck me when I read this article was that if any species is headed towards an evolutionary cul-de-sac, it is in my opinion the human race.

I understand that human species is the most intelligent and has been able to adapt itself to the most difficult environments in the world. Man has learnt to play with fire, irrigate barren lands, create the most beautiful music and has also managed to visit moon. Then why do I say that man is headed towards an evolutionary cul-de-sac?

The answer is a complicated one. And I will attempt to answer it with my limited ability to use logic and knowledge. For centuries now man has made advances in technology and science. And there is no reason to believe that science and technology has not made our lives better. Of course it has. We produce much more than we ever have. We save more lives from devastating diseases than we have ever had in the past. We are much better equipped to handle natural disasters than ever before. Then, why is it that we are still moving towards an inevitable end?

It is not because of our advance in science, but rather it the regression in our moral responsibility, which is leading out species to a slow death. Famous economist Malthus was afraid that we are headed towards certain doom because, food production grows at an arithmetic progression, but when it comes to population growth it is geometric in nature. In short he foresaw that population will grow at much faster rate than food and the species will probably starve to death. Fortunately or unfortunately, the development of high yielding seeds, Genetically modified food and hormone induced animals, the demise of our race for nutritional reasons seems to be unlikely. But there was an element of truth in Malthus's fear....it is the growth of man's wants, which is increasing geometrically. We never seem to be happy with what we have. Of course, it would be highly unfair to say this for the entire human race, but it is certainly true for a large proportion of the world population.

When you look at the so called developed nations and the urban cores of the developing nations, it fairly easy to see the increase in consumerism. It has simply become a must to have more. Veblen, another economist, albeit a lesser known economist had introduced the term conspicuous consumption. He had used this term to describe the consumeristic attitude of the nouveau riche. It basically described the attempt made by this class of the society, which indulged in buying new and expensive commodities in order to secure a good social standing. Though Veblen wrote about this more than hundred years back, it couldn't be any truer than ever before. It is not just the middle class of the so called developed nations, which are demanding bigger cars, houses etc, but it is also the fast growing middle class of the developing nations, which is being sucked into this ever attractive and glittering world of consumerism.

With increasing demand on limited natural resources, it is easy to see how the unending demand for more has taken a toll on our environment. Be it the deforestation of amazon rain forests, the pollution of life giving rivers, the dumping of toxic wastes in fertile lands, it is just a matter of time before we will see that the geometric expansion of our wants will lead to what Malthus feared....our end. It is our own evolution that we need to be worried about...not that of the pandas. If not for the pandas or the whales or the tigers it is probably time for us to think about our own evolutionary future. It is in the healthy future of these species that we can see our own future secured.

Maybe its time for us to say that two pairs of shoes are enough or that seven sets of clothes are enough or one car for a family is enough. It is not science and technology that needs to be changed it is something much more fundamental....its us.

Just another day in a grad student's life....

2008-03-14T21:05:00.002-05:00

11:00 am-You wake up and wonder what day or more realistically what month it is.

11:30 am- Eventually get out of the bed

11:40 am- Check emails and feel the urgent need to read about the current political situation in Latin America.

11:50 am -Stare at the mirror real hard and try to figure out why you are staring at the mirror so hard.

12:00pm-Make a desperate attempt to leave home by 12:30

12:30pm- Still trying desperately to leave at 12:30

12:40pm- You eventually leave

1:05 pm - Reach the class panting and gasping and make a silent resolution to work out more.

1:10 pm- Decide to pay attention to what the professor is teaching. After all you are here seek knowledge.

1:30pm- Hopelessly try to at least catch some key words and link them together to make a comprehensible sentence

1:50pm -You find that you have no control over your eyelids which are closing rapidly.

2:00pm - You find yourself waking up from a trance and become aware of the fact that you had completely disconnected from the real world for the past 10 minutes.

2:15 pm- You feel a sudden need to pay attention once more, when a fellow student asks a question to the professor. Also, you decide that the fellow student is good at sucking up to the professors.

2:30 pm- The professor looks at you while explaining some complicated (at least you guess it is complicated) theory and you give this look, which is a perfect blend of interest and confusion. You also feel that you would have probably been better off being a struggling actor rather than being a struggling grad student.

2:40 pm- The super natural force of sleep once again takes over your senses.

2:45 pm-You stare really hard at your papers so that the professor does not realize that you are actually asleep.

2:50 pm- You suddenly feel reinvigorated and alive, when you notice that there are only 10 minutes left for the lecture to get over.

2:55 pm-You feel a sudden surge of guilt for not paying attention in the class and promise yourself to be better prepared for the class next week.

2:59 pm- you pack your bag and smile gleefully

3:00 pm-You are already 50 meters away from the class.

Next week.....

11:00am- You wake up without any idea about the day or month...

The General theory of Procrastination

2008-02-23T17:11:00.001-06:00

Assumptions:
1) Agents are graduate students.
2) Agents try to maximize their periods of breaks subject to surprise visits or meeting by advisors or exams and quizzes.
3) Agents use adaptive expectations to make decisions.
4) Agents have complete information about the schedules of their advisors.
5) Agents have access to 24 hours of internet service.

The theory:
The general theory of procrastination states that agents tend to procrastinate for an amount of time such that
G= S
where,
G=Guilt
S=Satisfaction.
The theory states that in general, agents tend to procrastinate for periods long enough to equate guilt and satisfaction. There might be a drift towards positions of non equilibrium, where G>S or G<S. In case where G is greater than S, the agent tries to procrastinate less until the point of G=S is reached. In a rare case of G less than S, the agent procrastinates more to reach the point of equilibrium.

Further explanation:
Though guilt and satisfaction have somewhat opposite meanings, the force of procrastination ensures that at the end of each day agents end up feeling guilty and satisfied by the same amount. The feeling of guilt is usually triggered by the sense of not having done the work one was expected to do and the feeling of satisfaction comes from the newly acquired knowledge about the latest apple gizmos and general state of affairs (provided general state of affairs has nothing to do with ones own research 'interest' or course work).

Criticisms:
The theory has been criticized for not having mathematical rigor and that the assumptions are restricting.

Response:
The theorists are obviously procrastinating and therefore are unable to present a rigorous mathematical model for the theory.
The assumptions far from being restricting draw heavily from reality.

Khan vs Khan

2008-02-23T05:23:00.002-06:00

Yes, I am a confirmed Bollywood enthusiast, merely implying that I claim to have information on any A grade film made in Bollywood since 1975. Well...at least most of them.I guess, this pretty much summarizes my interest in hindi films.

Having seen hindi films for a really long time now, I can safely claim to be an Aamir Khan fan as opposed to a Shahrukh fan. In fact, there was a time in my life, when I kept away from people who were SRK fans. A friend of mine once saw a huge SRK poster on a glass building and exclaimed, " SRK and glass buildings are the two things that are wrong with the world today!" I agree with her without any hesitation. I suppose, what she meant with this statement was that a glass building represents everything that is not eco friendly and SRK represents everything that is not modest or real.

SRK has managed to enthrall the masses for over a decade now with his nonsensical films. I have to hand it to him that he has a certain amount of charm, which makes women from 20 to 60 go weak in their knees. On the other hand, Aamir has been described as a 'perfectionist' by many (as if there is anything wrong in being one!). His acting skills have been applauded by many. Be it his sense of comic timing or his portrayal of sensitive emotions on screen, he has always given a 100 percent to his characters. While SRK is undoubtedly the Badshah of Bollywood, Aamir is a true actor, who is honest to his craft.

At then end of 2007, both Aamir and SRK had their biggest hits in the recent times. While SRK did his usual naach gaana with a heroine less than half his age, Aamir decided to take on the task of being a director of this film with a rather unusual subject. Om shanti om saw SRK playing a double role with a lack of complete conviction for either of the roles. The movie, though entertaining borrowed its plot from two older movies. The run-of-the-mill film boasted of a song with some 31 bollywood stars in a song and the recently acquired 6 packs of SRK. In some sense the film was more about packaging and marketing than the story or the screenplay.

On the other hand Taare Zameen par was truly a pleasure to watch. Having done a number of films with different subjects, Aamir's latest film was on dyslexia. Not only did he successfully introduce the subject to millions of viewers, he also managed to sensitize both the media and public in general to this learning disability.

While SRK tried to hog the limelight with his 6 packs and brainless jokes (offending many senior actors in turn), Aamir decided to do justice to the film by playing the role of a supporting character and letting an eight year old demonstrate his acting skills. It is interesting to note that both these actors now in their 40s have such different ways to embrace their lives. SRK has displayed his inability to accept his age and insists on playing roles suitable for much younger actors. On the other hand Aamir has not only gracefully accepted his age but has also used it to his advantage.

I suppose that's what differentiates a true actor from a superstar.

The end of future.

2007-12-18T05:21:00.002-06:00

It is not unusual in today's world to come across news items, which send shivers down our spines. News of children being killed, women being violated, men being subjected to the worst forms of tortures have somehow numbed me. However, I recently came across a news piece about two 10 years old killing a three year old kid. This incident took place about more than a decade back, but it was only recently that I came to know of it. Of course, this is probably not one of the most gruesome murders of our times, but somehow I was shaken awake from my deep slumber of insensitiveness. I was jolted to my last bone and I spent quite a few nights awake thinking about this incident.

This incident occurred in 1993 in England, where two 10 year old kids, lead a three year old child away from his mother, made him walk for more than 4 kms, kicked him, punched him, threw paint on his face, made him swallow batteries and then laid him on railway tracks, piled rubbish on him so that he couldn't move and then left him there to be run over by a train. I guess, the only tolerable part of this horrific incident is that the child died before the train ran over his three year old body.

I am not writing this to make vulgarise this sad event, but rather to make an attempt to understand as to what must have made two ten year old do something as extreme as this. The fact that they not only killed the little child, but made him suffer so much before they killed him is what horrified me even more. The fact that they tried to make the whole event look like an accident is what alarmed me even more. What is it that made a couple of 10 years old behave in such a manipulative, cruel and insensitive manner? Are we as a society to be blamed or can we just blame it on all some brains being just evil?

To say that the society we live in today, is more vulnerable to violence is not a very plausible explanation. Violence has been a part of human history for a very long time. But, it is not the violence, that I am questioning now, but that such violent outburst coming from two individuals who probably didn't even understand as to what death is. We as a race seem to have devolved to a race, which lacks moral foundations and an ethical structure.

I have no answer to the problem of violence. How could I? After reading about the incident I wished for the worst for these two children. If being so unrelated to this incident I could not look beyond the gruesomeness of the crime and understand the reason for the crime, how can I expect people who were at the receiving end of the crime to forgive these two individuals? How can we expect forgiveness? How can we expect tolerance? No, I cannot. But I sure do hope for a day, when I can.

Forgiveness, tolerance, love etc. are words, which have no meaning in today's world. In today's world we expect children to grow up without any fear or prejudice, when everyday in news all they see are bomb blasts, killings, loot etc. We expect them to grow up without fear, when they are being made to pass through metal detectors when they go to airports, bus terminals or train stations. Our children are growing up with only fears in their hearts. How will they learn to love and forgive, if we haven't learnt to do so? No, I am not saying that what the two children did should be forgiven. But maybe for a moment, we try to understand the why of life and not the what of events. We, as a race stand here today in front of an ugly picture with only violence and intolerance on display. How long will it take us to realize that this ugly picture is simply a mirror reflecting us and not a creation of someone else?

The death of a hero

2007-11-30T13:34:00.002-06:00

He was my hero, my idol, my inspiration. For a while now, I have been completely in awe of his ideas and his propositions. I have always held him in a very high pedestal not only for his academic success, but also for his extraordinary vision. I am talking about John Maynard Keynes-the author of the most talked about book on economics -The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money. He is often hailed as one of the greatest economist of last century. But for me, with, I might add very limited exposure to his work, he was a thinker and a philosopher, who attempted to introduce the world to a new way of thinking. His contributions came during times of great economic instability and political turmoil. He was concerned about the deep economic recession that the world was facing during the interwar period, which is often referred to as the great depression. He noticed that the existing economic system (read capitalism) had lost its ability to ensure a smooth functioning of the society. He went on to suggest ways in which government intervention would lead to less unemployment and an increase in effective demand, thus stimulating the economy.

When I was an undergraduate student, I found his views to be not only theoretically grounded but also fantastically radical. I thought, here is a person, who had seen the flaws of the very society he was a part of and had successfully demonstrated to the world, the alternative to a capitalist way of functioning. He paved the way for the next fifty years of economic planning for a majority of the world, in particular the developing nations. Above all, I imagined him to be a progressive thinker who looked beyond his own status to better the lives of the general population.

However, recently, I came across some literature, which has effectively shattered this image. As per the new evidence, Keynes was a supporter of capitalism. He understood the flaws of this system, but, was of the opinion that one needs to take corrective steps to ensure that this structure of the society is maintained. To do this, he suggested regulatory body, which would look into the functioning of the big enterprises, so that they would not indulge into cut throat competition, which would eventually lead to a decline of capitalism. Of course, this regulatory body would include the elite of the society, who are more "intelligent" and "able" to look after the needs of the rest of the society. If in the process one needs to shake hands with the labour unions (which formed the majority of the British population as this time.), one might consider doing so. In short, Keynes's main purpose was, as one of my Professors puts it, " to clean the mess of capitalism and give capitalism a new look."

Of course, I am not anti-capitalism. But yes, I do have problems with some of the results of capitalism in modern world. For me Keynes was not a hero because I thought him to be an anti-capitalist, but because he managed to see beyond the ongoing popular academic and political view. But, with the introduction of the recent literature one can clearly see that all Keynes was trying to do is save the old order of the society with new ways.

But, does it take away all the credit from Keynes? Why is it that when we think of our heros or idols, we imagine them to be flawless, almost god-like characters? Why is it that we cannot accept our heros as humans who are susceptible to worldly influences? So why is it that we feel upset, when we find out that our favourite professor is a politically motivated individual? Does this make the professor any less of a teacher-the very trait which made her our favourite in the first place? Why do we feel betrayed when our favourite author gets arrested for financial fraud? Does his criminal recored make him any less of a writer? Does Keynes being a capitalist take anything away from his theory? No, it doesn't. General theory is still one of the best books and his ideas on government intervention has helped many developing countries come out of their state of less development.

I guess, when we see any flaws in our heros, we suddenly realize that these heros are just people like you and me. These are ordinary people with some extraordinary traits. Their ideas or views might me immortal, but they certainly aren't. As Keynes says, " In the long run....WE all are dead".

Of course, I am upset and disappointed, but is that Keynes's fault or mine? I guess the answer is obvious..

Seasons

2007-11-02T00:44:00.000-05:00

Since, I was a kid, I always enjoyed writing....though my readers not necessarily shared the same emotions. So I was always excited about my English classes and those boring essay writing sessions. I wouldn't say I was or for that matter am a particularly good or imaginative writer, but I somehow believe myself to be a good observer. And it this observation that I have always tried to put into words. Therefore, it was particularly exciting for me to write about the monsoons and how my school bus splashed water on the people walking on the roads or about my trips to my grandparents place over summer vacations and the different people I saw in the train and about what they ate. I particularly loved the mild winters of Calcutta, when a light fog would engulf the city and dim street lights would bravely try to show way to the lost strangers. I loved the fact that I could wear my sweaters and my scarfs.
It has been only in the recent past that I have had the opportunity to enjoy Fall. I love the way the trees change their colours getting all geared up for the bitter winter ahead. I love the way the leaves fall at your feet on your way to work. I love little children playing in the heap of fallen leaves. All in all.....I have to admit that Fall is now officially my favourite season.
I have always felt that Fall is nature's annual fashion show. It is the one time nature decides to show all that it has to offer.

Life, logic...does it matter??

2007-10-31T15:40:00.000-05:00

I would like to believe that there is some logic in life, but as events unfold this belief seems to become weaker and weaker. I would not consider myself to be a romantic or an optimist, rather I tend towards the domain of being a realist and a pessimist. And being a realist I have always tried to look for a sequence of cause and effect relationship in my life and events around me. However, I have to admit I have failed. Life and logic, both these concepts are too complicated for me to understand. But in my own small way, I am making an attempt to understand both. Being a student of economics, I have always heard of the rational man, who attempts to optimize given his constraints. Of course, the truth can not be further than this. There is no rational logic in falling in love, in making friends, in staring at a beautiful flower when there are more pressing issues to take care of, in killing people, in spending millions of dollars to make nuclear weapons. However, many people might argue that people who indulge in these activities have a clear, logical idea as to why they are doing this. I agree...but isn't it also true that there is no way one can determine if the logic one uses is flawed or not.
I am not here to be subjective about one's logic or my own. But the question that really needs to be examined is that does life have a logic or life itself becomes logic?